Sunday, October 14, 2012

< SS > Lucu (3)

Egyptian flu
Did you hear about the pharaoh who had Egyptian flu?
He caught it from his mummy'!

A cup of coffee
Bobby -Pa, does a cup of coffee do any harm?
Pa - No, Bobby.
Bobby -That's lucky! I've just spilled one
over your new suit.

What do you get if you dial 666?
A policeman standing on his hands!

Smith-Did you have much trouble with
your French when you went to Paris?
Adams -No, But the Parisians did!

Dan -My girlfriend's one of twins.
Dave -How can you tell them apart?
Dan -Her brother's got a beard!

New house
Where does a king go to buy a new house?

First day at school
Uncle -How did you like your first day at
school, David?
David -Oh, it wasn't bad, but there was a
big man in front who kept spoiling all the fun.

Policeman -This man is charged with steal-
ing an elephant, sir.
Judge -Search him!

Joe -Do your glasses magnify, Mum?
Mum -Yes, Joe.
Joe -Well, please take them off when you
cut me my piece of tart.

A bargain
The Hodja always wanted to learn some-
thing new, and one day he had a sudden
inspiration to learn how to play the lute. He
approached a music teacher and asked him,
"How much do you charge for private lute
lessons?" "Three silver pieces for the first
month; after that one silver piece a month."
"Oh, great!" exclaimed Hodja. "Then I'll start
with the second month."

Teacher -How many seasons are there in the year?
Sandy -Two, sir: football and basketball.

Twenty times
McDonald -I know a man who shaves more than twenty times a day.
McDougall -Who?
McDonald -A barber.

Why were the flies playing football on the saucer?
Because they were playing for the cup!

Get your coat on
What did the big tooth say to the small
tooth? ''Get your coat on, the dentist is taking us out!''

He forgot
Sister -How did Mum find out you hadn't washed yourself?
Brother -I forgot to wet the soap!

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