< SS > Lucu (4)

Taxi
A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

Grave
A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his
grave.

Short talk
A teenage girl had been talking on the
phone for about half an hour, and then she
hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short.
You usually talk for two hours. What hap-
pened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.

Punishment
PUPIL: "Would you punish me for
something I didn't do?"
TEACHER: "Of course not."
PUPIL:"Good, because I haven't done my
homework."

Fifty five
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
Teacher: What are you waiting for?
Student: I don't know which side to write
the other 5!

May I!
Little Johnny:Teacher, can I go to the
bathroom?
Teacher:Little Johnny, MAY I go to the
bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!

Idiot
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad:An idiot is a person who tries to
explain his ideas in such a strange and long
way that another person who is listening to
him can't understand him. Do you under-
stand me?
Son: No.

End of the world
Man:I could go to the end of the world for
you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?


Let's share
Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let's start from your bank
account.

A hundred dollar bill 
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a
hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping
him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.

Thump in the soup
Customer:Excuse me, but I saw your
thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.
Waitress: Oh, that's okay. The soup isn't
hot.

Cheap apartment
The real estate agent says, "I have a
good, cheap apartment for you."
The man replies, "By the week or by the
month?"
The agent answers, "By the garbage
dump.."

Funnier
"You look very funny wearing that belt."
"I would look even funnier if I didn't wear
it."

Which part
"I was born in California."
"Which part?"
"All of me."

Decisions
Teacher: Do you have trouble making
decisions?
Student: Well...yes and no.